Have I found you?

Older chests reveal themselves
Like a crack in a wall,
Starting small, and grow in time
And we always seem to need the help
Of someone else
To mend that shelf
of too many books,
Read me your favorite line

You are the one that lived inside me for over a decade; the one I used to chase around the yard; the one who always made me laugh; the first friend to become something else; the one who liked to slide fingertips through my hair; the one that even when far away was still such a part of me; the one I went through a lot of trouble to forget. And mouths; the one I still couldn't completely forget; the first to break my heart; the first I got over; the one for whom I considered abandoning all my dreams; the one I have let go for a good while now, which was not only necessary but that set me free.

I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys
Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere
Have I found you flightless bird?
Jealous, weeping
Or lost you american mouth?
Big pill looming...

You are the one I had to go looking for; the one with the pale blue eyes and the golden blond hair; the one with the childish smile and skip; the one who laid under me just laughing out loud at nothing but the magic of being in love; the first to tell me "I love you"; you were the one who made it all become real and helped lift the burden resting over my shoulders, even if only for a while; the one so lost in his own mind, he wouldn't listen; the one who knew we would break each others hearts; the one  I left standing on the street; the one that remembers when we first met and lets me know about it; You are the one I'll never forget, one of the many firsts if not the last.

Woe is me
Faithless you and selfish me
I will leave a key for you outside my doorway
Woe is me
One if by the land or two by sea
So won't you leave for me a light outside your doorway?
On a ladder from there to here I'll climb
All this clatter between my ears I find
Does it matter if I can't clear my mind?
There's a right and a wrong time

You are the one I wasn't expecting; the one who mesmerized me from the very start; the one who challanges me to be better; that makes me act like an idiot; that has my mind wandering all the time; you are the one I dream about but that I can't seem to touch for real; the one who toys with my feelings; the one who notices my looks and blushing and responds to it but just not quite enough; you are the one I'm not supposed to have, which of course only makes me want you all the more; you are the one who makes me wonder if what I want is really you or just the thought of you.


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